That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
