she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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