I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
