Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
