Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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