As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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