direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
