hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
