The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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