Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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