1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
