Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
