I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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