kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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