so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
