I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
