i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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