But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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