Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
