Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
