with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think my vagina is haunted
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize