it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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