I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize