You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
