Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
