Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
