I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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