Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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