Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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