We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My penis needs a shock collar
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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