I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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