Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
