when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize