Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
accomplished twins. life is a go
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize