Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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