Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
