he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
