is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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