I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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