just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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