did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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