I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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