was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize