her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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