I'm gonna have a badass scar
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
