He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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