If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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