All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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