you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
