Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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