Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
