You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
