She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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