Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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