I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
