I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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