Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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