i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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