I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I supernannyed him into submission
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
