You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
