whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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